#MeToo
Recently, my internet existence has been saturated with declarations of “me too.” Brief re-cap for those who’ve thus far managed to survive in a social-media-free world or otherwise enjoy residing under an exceptionally large shady rock: women the world over have taken to these internet streets to direct attention towards the absurd regularity and widespread nature of sexual harassment and assault. When it first began trending, the idea was to simply write “me too” and nothing else, but soon women began sharing their stories as well.
When I first noticed it, I thought about posting but then I thought to add an example since examples seem to stick better in the minds of the deliberately obtuse. Then I started cycling through potential examples, and I got completely overwhelmed and decided not to post at all. How do you pick just one example from a lifetime of encounters? And why should I even have to when we’ve been there, said that, and got brushed off for “overreacting”?
Perfect strangers rub their genitals and leer as you walk by; you decide to manufacture a fake boyfriend because that is the only answer this man at the club respects as a legitimate reason for disinterest; labeled a cold ugly bitch because you refuse to exchange phone numbers; someone old enough to be your father licking his lips and lewdly gesturing from the other side of the bus; stared at creepily, then followed from one train car to another as you attempt to escape without actually running. These are my experiences, but they are not mine alone. I have no problem sharing them with others, and I frequently do. As do other women. Often. Loudly.
And apparently, ignored.
Astoundingly, I’ve seen posts from men who suddenly became aware that this happens frequently – now that we put a catchy hashtag on it and made it searchable. Seriously? Society. Come on. We have got to do better. Like, why is this news to you? Do we really live in a world where we only listen when it trends?
Here’s the thing. None of these men go through life alone. They have family. They have friends. Often, they are with friends when they choose to be crap members of humanity and make women feel unsafe in their own stomping grounds. They exhibit utterly unacceptable behavior that is nevertheless accepted and/or encouraged both tacitly and explicitly by the important people in their lives. Women should not have to band together by the thousands and take over the Twitterverse every few months to recount varying levels of discomfort before being heard, believed, and acknowledged. It’s absolutely infuriating. It’s exhausting.
So yes. Me too. I – and probably every woman you’ve ever met – have experienced sexual harassment. And I am so, so tired of talking about it.
I need every person to just accept that this is a thing and start by calling out all of your perpetually shady, boundary-overstepping friends. Next time this trends, hopefully it will be full of men sharing their active participation in dismantling a culture that normalizes disrespect towards women.
Well said. I’ve become tone deaf and blind to the vulgarity of men’s outward, public display of animalistic, primitive, obscene, behavior of women. As a 5th grader, terrified of Keith Bohannon (yeah, I’m calling him out by NAME at 63 years old), running home as fast as my orthopedic red shoes could get me there. His groping fingers, his balled up fist, his constant sexual overtures….5th grade! Ms Thacker, 5th grade teacher, ignored the pleas of all the sweet, innocent little girls to make him stop. Why? Because she too, a grown woman, was intimidated by his lewd behavior. Yes, this memory is so vivid…so haunting, that I would experience sexual harrassment as a child.
Fast forward…1976…a woman in an all male Army platoon….I’m exhausted just have to think about the 5 never ending years of putting up with the shit. I told my story to who would listen and am being financially compensated by our government but can they take away the nightmares, or flashbacks, now appropriately called PTSD. It is exhausting to try and push back the memories, so all I can say is:
ME-DAMN-TOO!!